Wednesday, August 10, 2011

final stretch. and some major changes.

here we are, the final stretch of this pregnancy...

i know - i have neglected the blog world lately. my life has been insane. work has been very demanding. getting ready for a baby is more work than i ever imagined. i sleep like it is my second job. and well, i haven't had much to say lately.

however, here we are. on the verge of becoming parents to a little baby. scary? yes. exciting? yes. nervous? a bit. but, i am trusting in the Lord. i can't believe we will be a family of three in a few short weeks...

and yes, being pregnant brings many different emotions. one moment i am so happy and the next, i am full of tears. i don't know if it is just life decisions being made or just the final weeks of pregnancy, but these days have been pretty rough. when i was making life decisions by myself, i thought it was the hardest thing. but now add another person, and soon, three...

we have all made some pretty tough decisions in our lives that can impact not only our lives but the lives of others - and let me tell you... i have shed thousands of tears from it. you know when you are so deeply involved in something and your life is so impacted by it that the thought of doing something different almost brings anxiety? it is like i am scared of change. scared of the future. unsure what the Lord has planned. and while i am trying my hardest to trust Him and continue to ask for peace... my heart is still so burdened.

so here am i today. heavy-hearted. and after spending some quality, tearful moments with the Lord this morning the fact is, i am still not at full peace about it. and when you are making a decision with someone else in mind, and now two, it is even makes this whole situation that much harder.

so i continue to mediated on His Word. psalm 27:7 one of my favorite verses: Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him... so i do wait. and i wait patiently. i know He will show and give me the peace that surpasses all understanding at the right time.

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