Thursday, August 11, 2011

Top 10 Things I am excited for...

10. being able to get off the couch without extra effort
9. having my body back to normal (or somewhat back)
8. not having hands and feet twice it's normal size
7. sleeping or laying on my stomach
6. not feeling nauseous
5. seeing my toes while i stand
4. lose the weight and the challenge it will face (sick, i know)
3. running!!!
2. finding out if it is a boy or girl and the NAME!
1. actually holding my child/being a mom to the greatest kid ever created

there are a ton more, of course. good and bad. i will miss being pregnant. i know, even though i had a pretty rough pregnancy - i am going to miss all the fun moments with me and the baby. yes, there will better to come, but it is unlike anything.

excited for this little kiddo. few more days!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

final stretch. and some major changes.

here we are, the final stretch of this pregnancy...

i know - i have neglected the blog world lately. my life has been insane. work has been very demanding. getting ready for a baby is more work than i ever imagined. i sleep like it is my second job. and well, i haven't had much to say lately.

however, here we are. on the verge of becoming parents to a little baby. scary? yes. exciting? yes. nervous? a bit. but, i am trusting in the Lord. i can't believe we will be a family of three in a few short weeks...

and yes, being pregnant brings many different emotions. one moment i am so happy and the next, i am full of tears. i don't know if it is just life decisions being made or just the final weeks of pregnancy, but these days have been pretty rough. when i was making life decisions by myself, i thought it was the hardest thing. but now add another person, and soon, three...

we have all made some pretty tough decisions in our lives that can impact not only our lives but the lives of others - and let me tell you... i have shed thousands of tears from it. you know when you are so deeply involved in something and your life is so impacted by it that the thought of doing something different almost brings anxiety? it is like i am scared of change. scared of the future. unsure what the Lord has planned. and while i am trying my hardest to trust Him and continue to ask for peace... my heart is still so burdened.

so here am i today. heavy-hearted. and after spending some quality, tearful moments with the Lord this morning the fact is, i am still not at full peace about it. and when you are making a decision with someone else in mind, and now two, it is even makes this whole situation that much harder.

so i continue to mediated on His Word. psalm 27:7 one of my favorite verses: Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him... so i do wait. and i wait patiently. i know He will show and give me the peace that surpasses all understanding at the right time.