Thursday, March 10, 2011

Baby Snare. 8.28.11

sorry blogging world - i have neglected you yet again. i have wanted to blog and tell you all about my growing tummy and extra weight that i have gained, but feeling awful 24/7 for the past 10 weeks had my focus on my daily tasks and trying not to throw up.

okay, i'll say it, i thoroughly did not enjoy my first trimester. i would say, hate, but that is harsh- and I am in LOVE with my little lamb already.

if i had to sum up the past 10 weeks in one word, i would say, "tough." i have endured a lot in my short little 24-25 years of life. i have trained and ran 3 full marathons, numerous half marathons, trekked through a semester with 21 credit hours in college with two jobs, dealt with a loss of a brother, and many, many other things.

however, this pregnancy probably makes it in the top 5 toughest things i ever had to endure. not only was i waking up to awful nausea and gagging (and still am), and then eventually, vomit - but my "morning sickness" was "all-day sickness." at first, i dealt with it, got on some medication and went on with life. but as the weeks went on and days would end in tears, i eventually told myself i couldn't do it.

phew, finally week 13. prior to this week, i was told i was going to get better. but, of course, i didn't. it got worse. it was clock work. everyday at noon, i was throwing up whatever i ate. and to make matters worse, i work 40+ hours a week, so i didn't have the comfort of my home to "do my thang." nah, my co-workers have experienced and heard my vomit as much as i have. ;)sorry, guys.

and to make things even tougher, i find out that three other girls i know are due right around me and their first trimester was a breeze. another word: depressed.

i wasn't angry with God but i was frustrated. i didn't understand why i had to go through such a terrible first trimester, and part of my second while no one else was. why only me?

but after much prayer and thinking, i realized that i forgot i was carrying a baby, a human being, being formed with our CREATOR's hands. i realized that there are hundreds of women that can't even get pregnant and spend hours crying because they want the opportunity to be a mommy. i realized that God puts us through situations to grow and test our faith. i realized that one day, i will be able to encourage a woman in my life when she is dealing with a very difficult pregnancy. i realized that in six short months, i will have my first child in my arms and nothing that i went through will matter, nothing. i realized a lot. and i felt convicted.

so here i am, almost 16 weeks with my next doctors appointment on monday to see my little lamb and let me say, i couldn't be more excited. i am finally feeling better. this week has been a huge encouragement. i am still nauseous but haven't thrown up in a few days. (sigh of relief.)

thanks for all the prayers for those who have been praying for me and little snare. i feel it. and praise to my Lord who has given me the opportunity to carry a child that in a short 25 weeks, i will be holding and calling my own.

i can't wait share this journey with you over the next 24-25 weeks. i am sure there will be a lot of joys and a lot of discouragements, but i am glad i can share each week with those who love me.

as a start, here is the first picture and heartbeat pattern of little snare at seven weeks. yes the peanut looking thing in the center is the baby. ;)

For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works my soul knows it very well. psalm 139:13-14